Curious about the Middle Phase of Forgiveness Process?

The first phase ended with invoking the Higher Self. The majority of  my readers appeared unaware of their Higher Self, so how could I proceed to the Middle Phase? Also except for a couple, no one wanted to know more. If you're not aware of your Higher Self or become acquainted with it, then how are you to accomplish the following steps in Phase 2

In case there are some out there, readers who do not comment, who are acquainted with their Higher Self, then the following steps are just guidelines.
Step 7 - Take the Place of the Higher Self. (in the first phase, you were seated, now you stand as you take the place of the Higher Self and see what situation, characteristic, etc that the Lower Self needs forgiveness for.
Step 8 - As the Higher Self, compassionately cancel whatever needs forgiveness and upgrade.
Step 9- Higher Self heals the "person you were at the time or situation"
Step 10 - Teaching from within
Step 11 - Your Higher Self returns responsibility back to you, the personal but now upgraded self.

I am not going into details of the Steps, as I think the details would be different for each person. That is why, I think people doing the forgiveness process should have a coach, as you have to be totally objective when doing this process, otherwise you will be just going around in circles, with the help of your sub-personalities. I have included a PayPal button for coaching services for 1/2 hour at a discounted rate. This discount will only apply till end of December 2010.

The next post will give the Steps of the Final Phase as well as compare Dr Pettitt's Forgiveness Process with the one that I have used many times - EFT. Your questions and comments are always welcomed.
P Nicholas

Steps of the Forgiveness Process - 3

Do you want to venture a guess on what the 3rd step is? Suembela, left a comment about not being sure she could do the process with Joy! Well the 3rd Step is Setting the Goal and the Attitude in pursuing it. Believe it or not, Attitudes do affect  the  Outcome.

What are your goals? Freedom from Painful memories or Freedom from physical pain or Ability to love again, or to have creativity, etc. Did you notice I did not use any negative words like not, do not... etc. Goals should be specific and measurable.

What Attitude should you go with? This is dependent on the Goal you have chosen. Generally - if you chose to have fun with the Forgiveness Process, or see it as discovering answers, then you Will. Whereas, if you chose to find it problematic,  a chore, a sad process, then you Will. I'm hoping you will not chose the latter if you want to succeed in this Process. To illustrate, you're going from Jacksonville, Fl to St. Augustine Fl. you have a choice of taking a scenic route along the ocean or through the highway with a view of cars and concrete. The former might take a little longer but your drive is enjoyable! So Decide now what Attitude you're going with and stick to it.

Any questions so far?
P Nicholas

Steps of the Self-Forgiveness Ladder -2

So far it has been relatively comfortable - right? Oh Oh, you're looking apprehensive, waiting for me to say, something like difficult or painful right??  Well, it is not. Did I not mention in Part 4 last week, that the Forgiveness Process is comfortable, compassionate and joyful , if you're doing it right? Now how did you do on your homework on Values.

Well, why don't we do some housecleaning now - no need for a vacuum...... I meant mental housecleaning. That is what Step 2 is about. There are 2 parts. On a whole page draw two vertical columns. On the first, rank the values that you've written, from the most important to the least, leaving a few lines of space between each value. On the second column for each value, you will write a value statement. Here are some examples and each statement should have the words that are capitalized. 
                 Values (Core at the top)                                   Value Statement
     Dignity                                                     I VALUE feeling
                                                                     dignified MORE THAN
                                                                     feeling worthless,     Freedom                                                  I VALUE freedom
                                                                     MORE THAN  feeling a
                                                                     prisoner in
                                                                     my own negativity.

After you have written ALL the Value Statements, then read them aloud as many times as you wish and let them sink in. Running out of writing material. I did warn you that you will need full standard size exercise books.       Again use 2 columns and mention all the benefits and burdens.
Part 2 of Step 2
Benefits of Forgiving Myself                                
Example
Benefits of Forgiving myself
When I forgive myself of holding
on to  resentment, my head is clear, I digest my food better.                                                   
Burdens of not forgiving Myself  
When I hold on to unforgiveness, my headaches do not go away, I have problems with digestion.

If this not self-explanatory, then write to me. List all the benefits and burdens, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Then read them aloud, weighing  the benefits against the burdens. Take all the time you need to reflect on your Value Statements, the benefits and the burdens. As you read the Benefits and Burdens aloud, check your body's reaction. Do you feel your body relax when you read the Benefits? Is the body tensing when you read the Burdens. Which part of the body is reacting more than the others? Jot them down.

I want to thank the three participants of the small forgiveness group. They will be able to share and support each other confidentially, in this Process . Since I'm involved in this small group, my descriptions of these Steps will be minimal. I will still be available to answer your questions or comments and will incorporate it into my posts. Check my posts each week, either on Thursday or Friday.
Joyfully,
P Nicholas

Facts on Forgiveness Part 3 of 4

 I am delighted that a couple of my readers have  requested the Steps of the Forgiveness Process. So next week, Part 4 will start on some of the Steps.

Now to answer a question of another reader, who shared an excerpt of a  book she read on Forgiveness where the author stated that you don't have to know how to forgive to forgive. Maybe so. It begs the question, why then are so many people telling me that they thought they've forgiven but months or  years later, there remained residues of resentment, irritation or hurt at the person they had 'forgiven'?
Dr. G. Pettitt has the answer - the forgiveness was not complete as they did not follow certain steps that would make it so. Are you shaking your head dubiously??

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 If you have a leaking faucet and you put strong tape on it,  for a short while the faucet will stop leaking but then, the amount of water collected will cause a pressure to bust the tape and the waters would gush out causing a mini-flood.  So that is how it is when the Steps of the Forgiveness Process is not followed.

Many times, when we think we've forgiven, we have just repressed the memory. While treating some physical ailment in Energy Medicine and EFT, I noticed how the lack of forgiveness was a prominent culprit. When a client during the sessions, acknowledge the forgiveness aspect, that physical ailment heals. You must have heard about the connection of gastric ulcers and anger. When we use emotional freedom technique taught by Gary Craig, we always acknowledge the negative feeling but we do not stop there. Let me give you an example.

A client with severe pain came in, barely able to walk, doubled up in pain.. After a very brief history and discovering that her predominant emotions were shame and anger, I started  initially with siphoning the pain, then tapping her meridian points with her saying  "Even though I am angry with my ??? for humiliating me in front of my friends, I profoundly accept, respect and love  & (forgive)  myself anyway."
You might ask why she was saying "forgive myself'  Great question - Any feed backs. Before you  can truly forgive others, you have to learn to forgive yourself, using a similar process.
The end result for this particular client - She walked out of the therapy which lasted for about an hour with zero pain. She saw me as a last resort as she had tried everything else, from tests, other therapies to medications.

So next post - will mention some of the Steps in the Forgiveness Process - Have you any ideas of what they may be??

So what are the Facts on Forgiveness, Part 1 of 4

We discussed the Myths about Forgiveness or the Forgiveness Process. Forgiveness is not instananeous generally as that is another myth. It is a Process and there are steps to ensure that you forgive completely. Why? If you don't it will come to haunt you, that's why! So are you ready to learn the FOF - Facts of Forgiveness. A comment on the picture above - what do you think is the best way to deal with the Hurt, which makes it difficult to Forgive?

One of the Forgiveness Fact as I gave you at the end of the last post - 1.Empowering
2. It is a free Choice.
3. It Strengthens your Will.
4. It is private and internal
5. It makes you wise.
6. It makes you stronger to be able to confront injustices.

There are more for the next post, while you ruminate these Six Facts till then and I'm open for any discussions on these Forgiveness Facts. If you would like to quote examples in your own personal journey, you're most welcomed. If you wish your comments to remain private, just state private in your comment!
****Please keep commenting as it motivates me and gives me energy to continue with this blog. Time is very limited to me at the present, so I appreciate if you take a couple of minutes to leave a comment or start a discussion.
P. Nicholas