Just Information - Final Phase of Forgiveness

I've had many comments during this series of the Forgiveness Process, thanking me for the information and they were not published due to purely link dropping.  Well the Early Phase of the Forgiveness Process was certainly more than information - there was an "how to" which one would normally not only pay but make the time to attend for a week-end. Yet it was given here for free, but from the few questions and the comments, no one seemed to want to make the time. So my post previous to this is only information which will be continued today for the Final Phase.


Step 11 - how to heal yourself.  Step 12 How to heal the relationship  Step 13 Grounding the Forgiveness with "I will... "
Step 14 - Practising Patterns of Goodwill  Step 15 - Learning to Future Pace "the change"
Step 15 Checks to see if the Forgiveness is Complete   Step 16 - The Maintenance of the Forgiveness.

Phew, that was fast. Tell me would you want a heart surgeon to spend the minimum time when operating on you? Or would you want the car mechanic  to spend very little time on your impaired engine? Did I hear a loud  No! So why oh why, do you expect to go so fast on yourself in  the Forgiveness Process and get disappointing results? Yet it is a choice only you can make. Remember, recent studies have show a long list of health issues and diseases both physical and mental that cleared up, once forgiveness was given a chance.

EFT and Forgiveness will be in the next post as this was longer than I expected.

PNicholas

Steps of the Self-Forgiveness Ladder -2

So far it has been relatively comfortable - right? Oh Oh, you're looking apprehensive, waiting for me to say, something like difficult or painful right??  Well, it is not. Did I not mention in Part 4 last week, that the Forgiveness Process is comfortable, compassionate and joyful , if you're doing it right? Now how did you do on your homework on Values.

Well, why don't we do some housecleaning now - no need for a vacuum...... I meant mental housecleaning. That is what Step 2 is about. There are 2 parts. On a whole page draw two vertical columns. On the first, rank the values that you've written, from the most important to the least, leaving a few lines of space between each value. On the second column for each value, you will write a value statement. Here are some examples and each statement should have the words that are capitalized. 
                 Values (Core at the top)                                   Value Statement
     Dignity                                                     I VALUE feeling
                                                                     dignified MORE THAN
                                                                     feeling worthless,     Freedom                                                  I VALUE freedom
                                                                     MORE THAN  feeling a
                                                                     prisoner in
                                                                     my own negativity.

After you have written ALL the Value Statements, then read them aloud as many times as you wish and let them sink in. Running out of writing material. I did warn you that you will need full standard size exercise books.       Again use 2 columns and mention all the benefits and burdens.
Part 2 of Step 2
Benefits of Forgiving Myself                                
Example
Benefits of Forgiving myself
When I forgive myself of holding
on to  resentment, my head is clear, I digest my food better.                                                   
Burdens of not forgiving Myself  
When I hold on to unforgiveness, my headaches do not go away, I have problems with digestion.

If this not self-explanatory, then write to me. List all the benefits and burdens, no matter how insignificant they may seem. Then read them aloud, weighing  the benefits against the burdens. Take all the time you need to reflect on your Value Statements, the benefits and the burdens. As you read the Benefits and Burdens aloud, check your body's reaction. Do you feel your body relax when you read the Benefits? Is the body tensing when you read the Burdens. Which part of the body is reacting more than the others? Jot them down.

I want to thank the three participants of the small forgiveness group. They will be able to share and support each other confidentially, in this Process . Since I'm involved in this small group, my descriptions of these Steps will be minimal. I will still be available to answer your questions or comments and will incorporate it into my posts. Check my posts each week, either on Thursday or Friday.
Joyfully,
P Nicholas

Facts on Forgiveness Part 4 of 4

My foray into Energy  Medicine and EFT  introduced me to new avenues in healing and personal development and forgiveness permeated these modalities in a quiet way but its impact on Healing was certainly felt.    In Donna Eden's Energy Medicine, there is a  procedure to send 'Forgiveness through your Body; another is 'Expelling the venom'. In EFT, each day  or each week, you could do what Gary Craig called the Palace of Possibilities.

So when I noticed Guy Pettitt's work on the Forgiveness Process, I had to try it out by myself although he recommends to do it with a coach or have a small group doing the process together.  Some of the Steps are very much like Craig's Palace of Possiblity! Let me say it was challenging doing it on my own, which is why the small groups have become popular in New Zealand and other countries.

First, I had to get a standard size  lined book! Hmmm! What are you waiting for? We can't begin, till you get the writing material and a pen. I'll wait!

Let's begin with Self -Forgiveness first! Why? Any ideas? Before we begin, let me Emphasize - all these Steps have to be done comfortably, compassionately, joyfully and completely.

In response to a question from Nathan, it is not difficult and there are ways to have bio-feedback to know if it worked. For those interested to work on these Steps in a small online group, please let me know. Actually, it would be good to know who are following these Steps through these posts. Anyone? The Comments section will be where I answer questions and elaborate.

This will not work, if you skip some Steps. The best way - do the Steps in Sequence and take all the time you need to finish each one. My plan is to do one Step each week and give you the opportunity to prepare for the next week. When you go on a journey, you have a choice to make it fun or boring, right? So before we begin, let's Will to make it fun, agreed?

The first Step
On the first page, you will write the Definition of the Forgiveness Process. This is  the one for Self-Forgiveness!
The Forgiveness process is cancelling the conditions in oneself, that are blocking the flow of love, independently of the behaviour of anyone else or any outer circumstances.  It is an energy dynamic! 
                                                                                           (Dr. Guy Pettitt)

Now read that aloud. In all the following steps, we will be using both the right side and left side of our brain.

Prep for the Second Step
Think of all your Values (cherish or prize are other words)  including what you've inherited. Have some of your values changed? Write done each value (leaving plenty of space between each) and underline those you feel are your core values that have not and will not change. As you write each Value and read it, notice any sensations in any part of your body, example - heart beats faster, specific muscles tighten or relax, etc. Write all the values you've held.

So till next week! One reader has decided to join the small forgiveness process group online. There is space for 1 or 2  more. So please contact me via comment, as we will be commencing next week. This will be a private and confidential group. Remember as you're doing this, this process is similar to taking the automobile in for an oil change. It is needed and not difficult, so that the auto will run optimally. Only this time, the automobile is you.
PNicholas

Facts on Forgiveness Part 2 of 4

 One reader mentioned that my posts have a tendency to be like a textbook. So I've tried to veer from that style. Let me know if I have succeeded.  To recap last week's facts on the Forgiveness Process. They are -

1.Empowering
2. It is a free Choice.
3. It Strengthens your Will.
4. It is private and internal
5. It makes you wise.
6. It makes you stronger to be able to confront injustices.
Now although I will be adding a few more, that does not mean that is all. As you work through the Forgiveness Process, you will most probably discover more facts.
Forgiveness 
7.improves the atmosphere.
2. it can be telepatic
3. it is a basic need
4. it is a joy and celebration
and another good news fact -
5.Forgiveness HAS DEFINITE STEPS. That is why it can be taught and learned.
If you would like to know some of the STEPS, please send your requests in soon! Till the next post which will either continue with the facts or if you respond, I will share with you some of the Steps of the Forgiveness Process. It's your choice!!
P Nicholas

So what are the Facts on Forgiveness, Part 1 of 4

We discussed the Myths about Forgiveness or the Forgiveness Process. Forgiveness is not instananeous generally as that is another myth. It is a Process and there are steps to ensure that you forgive completely. Why? If you don't it will come to haunt you, that's why! So are you ready to learn the FOF - Facts of Forgiveness. A comment on the picture above - what do you think is the best way to deal with the Hurt, which makes it difficult to Forgive?

One of the Forgiveness Fact as I gave you at the end of the last post - 1.Empowering
2. It is a free Choice.
3. It Strengthens your Will.
4. It is private and internal
5. It makes you wise.
6. It makes you stronger to be able to confront injustices.

There are more for the next post, while you ruminate these Six Facts till then and I'm open for any discussions on these Forgiveness Facts. If you would like to quote examples in your own personal journey, you're most welcomed. If you wish your comments to remain private, just state private in your comment!
****Please keep commenting as it motivates me and gives me energy to continue with this blog. Time is very limited to me at the present, so I appreciate if you take a couple of minutes to leave a comment or start a discussion.
P. Nicholas