Healing Power of True Friendship

Do you have a few true friends or a hundred over "so called friends" that you don't even remember their names or faces?

I know some of you reading this have friends like that, perhaps in Facebook or some social networking sites. Perhaps some of you might have been hurt by the friends you trusted and now you're very cautious of befriending anyone.Some might be keeping their friends at arm's length. Friendship like any relationship has its ups and downs, doesn't it?
Well, what prompted me to write this article and a series of posts on friendship which is ongoing in my other blog is the fact that social scientists have been conducting research in the last six years on the effects of friendship in disease and mortality rates and this is a blog of empowering health.  To find out some of the startling results of these studies, please click on the link below.
http://transformyourlife1.blogspot.com/2011/02/friendship-life-or-death-choice-part-i.html

There is an ongoing study going on now using friends in Facebook. Definitely, as a society, we have found new ways of befriending people all over the world and without even meeting them in person. Has the website contributed to increasing our friends but how has it impacted on the quality of friendships? Is it possible to foster quality friendships or genuine friendships in cyberspace? How do we treat friendship that we made at school, college, workplace, recreational spots and places of worship? Have we maintain contact with these friends? The most important question of all - how many trusted friends (friends that you could count on, if you had a challenging episode in life) do you have?

PC Nicholas

Revitalizing Energy Therapies -Synopsis Part II

Energy Psychology, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT ) and Laughter Therapy

EFT or emotional freedom technique developed by Gary Craig uses a tapping technique on specific acupuncture points while stating specific statements to a related issue, emotion or condition. This technique involves stating the emotion you feel at a certain event, no matter how negative and then working through it. It uses Subjective Unit of Distress (SUD) to gage the progress.  I use the Homo-lateral and Cross-Crawl of   EEM as a preparatory technique because they enhance the effects of EFT

Laughter Therapy should really be part of Energy Psychology as it works on the emotions and puts one in a positive state for healing to take place. As the founder of Laughter Yoga, Dr. Madan Kateria stated it produces the laughter cocktail which means it releases endorphins (body’s natural pain killers), hormones and neuropeptides and increases levels of immunoglobin A1gA which provides immunity.

Forgiveness Therapy 
The Self-Forgiveness Process is vital before you can forgive anyone else. Using the work and research done by Dr. Guy Pettitt MD as well as techniques from EEM such as “expelling the venom” and “sending forgiveness through the body”, clients are able to forgive themselves and others in a shorter  time than they can do on their own. Why is it vital to forgive? 1. It is a basic need and will make you happy2. Improves your will-power 3. Makes you stronger to confront injustices. 4. Improves your atmosphere 5. It is telepathic 6.  It Empowers-You
     ‘...it cancels the conditions in oneself that are blocking the flow of love, independent of the behavior of anyone else or any other circumstances’.   Guy Pettitt MD

Gratitude Therapy

This therapy goes in conjunction with previously mentioned therapies.
Gratitude goes a long way in cementing healing that has already taken place. Included in all the Revitalizing Energy Therapies, there is a small but significant portion devoted to gratitude. This is usually done while tapping and it could also be done in affirmations and  mini-meditations.

So there you have it, Revitalizing Energy therapies in a nutshell. No matter how detail an explanation, it is really  in experiencing it that you will realize their effects in your life. No amount of words can do justice to any of the therapies that are found in Revitalizing Energy Therapies or RET but since I had so many requests, I obliged. However, asking more questions is always welcomed and that is why I give some mini courses and workshops that is posted on my website. I will always consider myself a student of all these therapies as I'm always learning something new in the application of all these Revitalizing Energy Therapies and sometimes from my clients in their practical application of RET.

My thanks go out to some incredible teachers, Donna Eden, Dr. David Feinstein, Gary Craig, Dr. Guy Pettitt  and Dr. Madan Kateria and E. Chow. Thanks also goes out to my clients who expect nothing but the best in their healing journey!

PC Nicholas

Revitalizing Energy Therapies -Synopsis Part I

Revitalizing Energy Therapies (RET)

The following Therapies are included in RET -

Eden Energy Medicine (EEM), Energy Psychology, includes Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and Laughter Therapy, Medical Qigong, Positive Psychology which includes Gratitude and Forgiveness therapy.  Group therapy classes like Boosting Your Energy in 5 minutes are others given bi-weekly and monthly and upon request. Former and present clients are encouraged to continue their healing practices by attending these classes.

Eden Energy Medicine
The following techniques are used in Eden Energy Medicine : energy testing, tracing the meridians, holding  neurovascular points, siphoning pain, sedating as well as strengthening acupuncture points, massage of neurolymphatic points, spinal flush, zone tapping. These are just some of the techniques that remove blockages to the flow of energy in the body, remove stagnant energies and enhance the body’s Immune System.

Medical Qigong
 Qi - means breath, and gong -work. So this 5,000 year old energy therapy from which accupuncture, tai chi and kung fu take their origins, has much to do with the breathing technique.
Medical Qigong uses the emitted Qi to areas in the body that is in need of repair. Certain movements combined with the
Breath work fortifies the immune system and revitalizes the body’s physical & neurological systems.


 Next week we'll continue with the rest of my Revitalizing Energy Therapies. In the meantime, keep your energies buzzing.
P Nicholas

Wow what a great group

I want to thank the wonderful people who braved the cold temperatures to attend the two and a half hours session of Boost Your Energy in 5 minutes, based on Eden's Energy Routine. I think it was safe to say that everyone saw a little of how Scalar energy worked and all agreed that the content was enough to absorb and any more would have been too much.

Yes, everyone had smiles and some laughs which was the bonus I promised. I will have a repeat of the first class in 2 weeks for those who could not make it for the first one. Already some of the participants want to attend the repeat class. As a facilitator, it is so rewarding to see that people enjoyed the class and are willing to practice the techniques for a few weeks at home

My next post will be on a brief description of the other modalities of Revitalizing Energy Therapies, as we already covered Laughter Therapy!

PC Nicholas

Boost Your Energy in 5 minutes!

This is the title of the study course that will begin tomorrow. It is at 1940 Saunderson Drive, Ottawa, On.Canada.  Only a few spaces left. So hurry if you want to take part in this first ever in Ottawa, Canada.

If you're tired, stressed, have little or no energy, often get colds and infections, then this event is for you! Two and one half hour of energy testing and demonstration and practice of techniques to boost your energy and immune system! Reference is from Eden Energy Medicine.This is Part One and Part Two and Three will follow in February and March.

Due to the limited number of students accepted for this class, there will be a repeat of the first class on February 5th but pre-registration is required. Thanks! Hope to see some of you there.
PC Nicholas

Laughter Therapy, Part II

There is so much written and researched on Humor and laughter therapy but most were based on what will cause one to laugh. However in the last post, we mentioned one type of laughter therapy with a video clip where there is nothing externally to stimulate the laughter. So I've tried laughter yoga and joined a laughter yoga club in my area for a few months and stopped when the weekly schedule at night interfered with my work hours. Once you do the HoHoHaHaHa for a minute or so, it ispossible to laugh for a while. But I do urge you to stop after 5 or 6 minutes and take a couple of deep breaths.  There are now laughter yoga clubs in 60 countries and the latest from Dr.Kateria is his plan to start a Laughter University in India!

Make it a goal not to take yourself so seriously. Own a joke book and watch silly comedies like Laurel and Hardy. One word of caution - don't laugh at someone (comediennes are an exception) but with them. Perhaps, you could even write a joke yourself.  Even in the animal kingdom, they laugh. Check out the kookaburras from Sydney, Australia.

If you noticed the last verse of the Kookaburra song, it shows that we are uncomfortable with the laugh and want the bird to cry but it is not in its nature  to do so. And neither is it in true human nature to be sad and weepy!!

 If you want to know how laughing helps your physical, emotional and mental health, then please click the archives on this page for July 2008 and there are several posts with details.

I have interviewed someone who started a 2 man team that goes and does juggling and comedy skits for groups and organizations. If you subscribe to my blog, you could hear that interview with Gene Monterastelli, an EFT practitioner!
I always like to receive your comments and questions, which will determine if I write more on a particular topic. As for now this will conclude the laughter aspect of RET (Revitalizing Energy Therapy!.
Laugh to be healthy!
PC Nicholas

RET - Laughter

 In Revitalizing Energy Therapies, I do include humor and laughter therapy to help you sustain a joyful spirit as healing works quickly and the body bounces back well from traumas, when we are able to be joyful. Here is one that I have found quite helpful!


 Laughter Therapy has a number of sources, one of which is Laughter Yoga, started by Dr Maden Kateria
It does not employ jokes, funny situations or comedies. So how do you laugh without any reason or provocation. Well, you choose to open your mouth and start to laugh. Kateria has called it laughter for no reason. Yet the effects of this laughter has been proven very beneficial to all our body systems, which I have gone into detail in older posts on this blog.

Laughter Therapy is certainly easier to do in a group. But it can be done when you're alone. In the next post, I will give you some suggestions to jump-start the laughter when you're alone! This video clip is from Dr Madan Kateria. Enjoy! PC Nicholas

Wishing You a Breathtaking and Breathgiving New Year

I left you last year with the back of the empower-you postcard mentioning RET or Revitalizing Energy Therapies. I said that in the New Year I will explain a little further of what RET comprises of. 
Well, RET is breathtaking and breath-giving. It involves the main ingredients of Energy Therapies that I've found harmonized  and blended with each other.

There are definitely more energy therapies than what I've used but these are what I found work well either individually or in combination.They are Eden Energy Medicine, Energy Psychology & EFT, Qigong, Laughter Therapy, Forgiveness Therapy and Gratitude Therapy. The main common element that runs through all these is the Breath Work which is the literal translation of Qigong. RET is breathtaking in another sense which is - results are achieved at such a relatively short time and the thoroughness of the results are also breathtaking.

In the next few posts, I will try to explain the individual therapies, but unless you experience the effect, you might not appreciate it. That is why, in the third week of January, there will be a 2 hour class akin to a study group dealing with the basic aspects of Energy Medicine which will also include some elements of Energy Psychology, Qigong , laughter and forgiveness therapy. So as not to overwhelm the participants, it will be given over the course of 3 months, 2 hours each month and practice, practice,practice between each monthly classes. There is a limit of 25 persons per class. Some of my former clients will be there, as now they are free from their "problems" and want to learn more.

Till the next post, make this year be full of possibilities!
PC Nicholas

Empower-You Postcard-Back

This the back of my post-card. In my next post, I will explain further about RET, an acronym that I coined to simplify the modalities or tools I work with as my therapy combines one or two of EEM. EFT Laughter therapy, forgiveness therapy or Qigong. It will be in my first post of January 2011.

For now I would like to send positive vibrations and all my gratitude to my followers and readers as well as a Meaningful Christmas for those who celebrate and for those of other religions or none, a wonderful Season and the beginning of a Hopeful, Healthful and Joyful New Year!
PC Nicholas
If you could think of even a couple of things to be grateful for this year, then you'll be starting the New Year with some good vibrations.

Empower-You Postcard

Yes, I know I said in my last post that I was going to show you the back side of my business card. It is mostly contact information which you could find inSo today, I'll show you the front of my postcard.

Where has November gone?

There is a saying that when you're enjoying life, the time goes fast! Well, it did for me as it is the end of November and thankfully, I've managed to squeeze this second post for November. I've been occupied with updating and re-vamping  my business cards, my logo, changing my brochures into post cards and working on the material for my new website. I thought I would share a preview of my business card. This is on side one.

Yes, my readers, this is my logo and the name of my business is "Empower You" Enterprise. The colors are my life colors which is dual as you can see - Violet and sea green. The majority of the population has only one life color but some of us have a double whammy!
If you would like to share your views and comments, you're invited to do so. My next post will focus on what is on my brochure! I think I will soon cease to use Agapelife! What do you think?
PC Nicholas                                            

Smiling while Learning

This week we will continue with what went on during the EEM training in San Diego where we briefly discussed Donna Eden's view of Life Colors.

During the time I spent at the training in San Diego, mingling and talking with the practitioners as well as those who were recipients of this futuristic yet ancient form of healing, I was struck at the peace and joy with each one of them.  They all look younger than their stated ages. Do you know that smiles are very contagious? Everyone smiled, regardless if they knew you or not. And our principal teacher Donna Eden, was smiling all the time!


So what did we learn? We studied a humongous amount for the 5 days we were there.We were trained to trace our energy meridians, know and feel our neurovascular points, neurolymphatic points and know the location of the alarm points, as well as how to do a quickie energy balance. These are just a few of different techniques we learned and applied them on each other in our small group settings in the evening.


For my long-time readers, we also started our mornings with the Five Minute Daily Energy Routine and during the day, we repeated a couple of the techniques of that Routine when needed. For my new readers, this Five Minute Daily Energy Routine has been documented in my older posts, under the category Energy Medicine.

Empower-You Blog will be going through some major changes in the coming weeks. It will not affect the comment section, so keep your comments coming and I will answer. If you want your answers to be private, then please mark them private and leave an e-mail address I could send them to. I have not published any comments that were marked PRIVATE!
Thanks!
Agapelife

Energy Medicine a la Donna Eden Part 2

So I guess most of you were wondering what Life Colors are! If some of you thought it was another name for auras, I would have thought the same too, if I did not attend the training with Donna Eden. She defined Life Color as the dominant color that surrounds your body; it is the color you're born with and stays with you till the end of your life. Usually it is one color of the rainbow but for a few people, they have two dominant colors. "Life color is an aspect of energy that circles the body and permeates through all the other auras."(Eden)

Ms Eden is able to see someone's Life Colors and she saw it as she was signing her book for each attendee. She saw Nailina's color as violet and pink. Actually, Donna remarked that she saw many violets in the audience and this was the predominant color that she sees in all of her training sessions. Why? Violet is the Life Color of searchers - "seeking a deeper meaningful life, and usually on a spiritual quest....they are cerebral and emotional." (Eden).

Auras are energy bands of different colors that also are seen around a person's silhouette but they are influenced by time and situations.They do change.

Well, hope you're clear about life colors and auras.
P Nicholas

Energy Medicine a la Donna Eden Part I

Remember the battery commercial, where the rabbit keeps going and going, while the others with the inferior batteries have stopped. That's the best metaphor I could come up with at this time of the night. From dawn to way past dusk, we were just absorbing, watching, sharing and celebrating Eden's Energy Medicine during a recent 5 day EEM training in San Deigo.

The mornings started with Energy dancing which transformed all the sleepy heads. It was mostly lead by Eden's daughter Titanya, an award winning belly dancer. Breakfast followed on board a boat docked on Mission Bay, then to the morning courses given by the exuberant Donna Eden assisted by Dr. David Feinstein. During the 3 hour course, there was demonstrations on the different energy medicine techniques. The subjects of the demo were the participants who had a particular problem.Many hands were up but Eden usually chose the one who was the severest! How did she know? She could see a break in the energy around them or scientifically also known as scalar energy, bio-scalar energy or waves. If you had a GDV Kirlian camera, you could see it, too. However, Eden was gifted to see it with her natural eyes. She told us that all of us could see it and did see it as wee children. More on that in my next post.  The picture above is Scalar energy waves seen via a Kirlian camera before an energy therapy and after.

After lunch, we had another course by Ms. Eden. Then we had our small group practice sessions. These five days and evenings were chock-full of practical information, inspiring anecdotes, humor provided by David, her spouse.There is enough material during the training that could easily provide enough articles for a year! All queries to Eden was answered thoroughly and many times with a case-history.

I'll conclude Part 1 with the following questions? 1.What do you know about your life color? 2. How would you define auras? Please click here to find out more about this remarkable Donna Eden.
Agapelife

Tap, tap, tap to forgive

Having trouble forgiving someone? Having issues about forgiving your self? Perhaps you even thought you forgave certain persons but they repeat the same actions and the forgiveness issue comes up yet again! Does that  sound familiar? Well here is a solution, some have used for effective results. EFT !

Basically, you say some specific phrases and tap. You have to tune in to what the person did to upset you or if you have problems with the forgiving itself, you could tap on it. Here are a few examples. Remember to use the capitalize words  in all the situations.

1. EVEN THOUGH I have a hard time forgiving wrongs done to me by (name), I PROFOUNDLY LOVE, ACCEPT AND RESPECT MYSELF ANYWAY.

2. EVEN THOUGH I was extremely devastated at  (name)'s betrayal and not willing to forgive (name), I PROFOUNDLY LOVE, ACCEPT AND RESPECT MYSELF ANYWAY.

3. EVEN THOUGH I am ashamed of my action, which does not deserve forgiveness, I PROFOUNDLY, LOVE, ACCEPT AND RESPECT AND FORGIVE MYSELF ANYWAY.

As you say aloud any one of these SET-UP PHRASES; you are tapping on the karate chop point. Then as you move toward the inner eyebrows, side of the eye, under the eye, below the nose, below the lower lips, below the clavicle, under the armpit, tapping lightly with 2 fingers on all these points, just use a short phrase or word, example "hard time forgiving", or "not willing to forgive".

 Repeat the above sequence three or four times, then stop and take three deep breaths, breathe in through the nose (with mouth shut) and breathe out through the mouth. Then evaluate, and repeat several times each day.
When you don't feel the negative emotion of unforgiving  when thinking of that person or situation, that's when you cease the tapping.
Here is a video from Brad Yates, an EFT expert. His tapping on Forgiveness is more wordy than what I have given above but I think when you're a beginner, it is always better to keep it simple. As you master the technique and the set-up phrase, then you too, can add more words into it.





Next post will focus on Eden Energy Medicine and it, too has a forgiveness exercise. I've just returned from an exhilarating training and I'm excited about sharing some snippets of the wonderful training from Donna Eden herself. Till then, I'm sending you waves of healing energy.

Agapelife

Just Information - Final Phase of Forgiveness

I've had many comments during this series of the Forgiveness Process, thanking me for the information and they were not published due to purely link dropping.  Well the Early Phase of the Forgiveness Process was certainly more than information - there was an "how to" which one would normally not only pay but make the time to attend for a week-end. Yet it was given here for free, but from the few questions and the comments, no one seemed to want to make the time. So my post previous to this is only information which will be continued today for the Final Phase.


Step 11 - how to heal yourself.  Step 12 How to heal the relationship  Step 13 Grounding the Forgiveness with "I will... "
Step 14 - Practising Patterns of Goodwill  Step 15 - Learning to Future Pace "the change"
Step 15 Checks to see if the Forgiveness is Complete   Step 16 - The Maintenance of the Forgiveness.

Phew, that was fast. Tell me would you want a heart surgeon to spend the minimum time when operating on you? Or would you want the car mechanic  to spend very little time on your impaired engine? Did I hear a loud  No! So why oh why, do you expect to go so fast on yourself in  the Forgiveness Process and get disappointing results? Yet it is a choice only you can make. Remember, recent studies have show a long list of health issues and diseases both physical and mental that cleared up, once forgiveness was given a chance.

EFT and Forgiveness will be in the next post as this was longer than I expected.

PNicholas

Curious about the Middle Phase of Forgiveness Process?

The first phase ended with invoking the Higher Self. The majority of  my readers appeared unaware of their Higher Self, so how could I proceed to the Middle Phase? Also except for a couple, no one wanted to know more. If you're not aware of your Higher Self or become acquainted with it, then how are you to accomplish the following steps in Phase 2

In case there are some out there, readers who do not comment, who are acquainted with their Higher Self, then the following steps are just guidelines.
Step 7 - Take the Place of the Higher Self. (in the first phase, you were seated, now you stand as you take the place of the Higher Self and see what situation, characteristic, etc that the Lower Self needs forgiveness for.
Step 8 - As the Higher Self, compassionately cancel whatever needs forgiveness and upgrade.
Step 9- Higher Self heals the "person you were at the time or situation"
Step 10 - Teaching from within
Step 11 - Your Higher Self returns responsibility back to you, the personal but now upgraded self.

I am not going into details of the Steps, as I think the details would be different for each person. That is why, I think people doing the forgiveness process should have a coach, as you have to be totally objective when doing this process, otherwise you will be just going around in circles, with the help of your sub-personalities. I have included a PayPal button for coaching services for 1/2 hour at a discounted rate. This discount will only apply till end of December 2010.

The next post will give the Steps of the Final Phase as well as compare Dr Pettitt's Forgiveness Process with the one that I have used many times - EFT. Your questions and comments are always welcomed.
P Nicholas

Sixth Step - What to ask?

The Sixth Step marks the end of the First Phase of the Forgiveness Process. During all the Steps in this Phase, you should have been seated.  The sixth step is making a request to the Higher Self - use your own words but remember to include the words 'will' ' heal'  and 'forgive'.
Here is an example.   " I now will to heal the discomfort caused by my ? ( some examples - "being resentful of another's success", " blaming another for my problem", "self-critical","procrastinating", "begrudging","shame of my physical or mental attributes")  and I chose to be free again and I ask my Higher Self to forgive and heal all this...".
Do one value or problem at a time to be specific. You are invoking the help of the Higher Self to do this forgiving. This is not instant, that is why it is called a Process.

So the next Phase is the Middle Phase and Step Seven is when you stand or go to a higher ground as you will take the place of your Higher Self. As I mentioned in the earlier posts, you should have a coach or guide, it is even vital now in the Middle Phase to have a coach or guide. I also will not give you directions for the rest, as I noticed from some of the comments(unpublished) that readers are either still lingering in the myths of forgiveness or stating that God will take care of it for them. I've spoken to some church officials who state that forgiveness is quite a problem among the church folks. Remember the saying, God helps those who help themselves. I think the Forgiveness Process is one way to help yourselves. And talking about process, what do you think JC meant with this answer when Peter asked if he should forgive 7 times, "Not 7 times but 77 times."

I think I will be doing a disservice to try to coach generally on forgiveness as the next phase requires it. So I will leave that your choice to find a coach to continue with the Forgiveness Process. Also if you find emotional freedom technique coaches or meridian tapping coaches, they will be able to help you in this area.
This blog will shortly be going into paid subscription mode. If any of you want to be coached further on Forgiveness, please leave a private comment and an e-mail contact. I'm working on conducting one or two day Forgiveness Workshops which will cover material in a day which would take a couple of months to cover online. If you like to have it in your vicinity, please let me know.
P Nicholas

Should I forgive?

For my readers who have been closely following, this post will not deal with the 6th Step. Instead, I will share with you what has been happening the last couple of weeks. I've been getting an average of 6 comments on each posts as well as my older posts, but if you look, only a couple are printed. Why, because the ones I have deleted, were just promoting their products.... you have a name for them, which I chose not to use. As you can see, I don't even have adsense, so I am not interested in promoting products which I would not recommend even off-line.

I'm not interested in designer shoes, any enhancement products and the like.  It does take extra time weeding these comments and I have not reported them. Actually, I have chosen to forgive them but I have deleted the comments. I am rather puzzled why I am getting so many of these comments since I started the Forgiveness Process Series. While we're on the subject, I am still waiting for more comments and questions before I post the 6th Step.

One reader mentioned that the Higher Self is another name for Self-Actualization (Maslow). When self-actualization happens, the Higher Self is involved. However, another name for the Higher Self is the Soul, and in many circles, the Soul lives on, while the body doesn't and you will learn in the Forgiveness Process how to communicate more with your Higher Self or Soul now not later! Also to answer the question of another reader, if you read this blog just for information, it will not be empowering, you have to try out the suggestions given. Otherwise you will not be empowered which is what all these blog posts are aimed at.
To the question in the title, yes I should forgive these advertising (not using the label) types leaving links, as it frees me. I have forgiven them and am  moving on....

Keep the questions coming. Till next week!
P Nicholas

Your Request to your Higher Self? - Step 4 & 5

Are  you seated? Good - Now take your large sheet of paper or exercise book and write this formula
   Dear Higher Self,
I ask forgiveness for...........................................(specify one behavior or faulty belief or faulty thought which trouble you and for which you are seeking forgiveness.) (Dr. Guy Pettitt)
The above formula will be repeated for each behavior or belief, ah.... you were trying to squeeze 3 or 4 in one line - no need for that - use several sheets of paper as necessary.Leave several blank spaces between each item you're asking forgiveness for.

Oh are you having trouble seeing the less obvious areas for self-forgiveness.. These posts do not allow me to elaborate in detail as I would if I was coaching or guiding you individually or if you were in a small unbiased group setting. The less obvious might be - 1.overachieving, overambitious, (& the opposites),2. spending more money on your material possessions than on your own self-improvement, 3. putting expectations on others, 4. believing others as untrustworthy because of a past experience of others betraying your trust....etc.... REMEMBER ask and answer the questions, Compassionately, Joyfully and Completely. If this section is not done thoroughly, the forgiveness will be only partial..... so check,recheck, and recheck.

Take several days to do this as each day might bring something you forgot the day before. Recheck this big offenders. 1.Did I criticize myself and /or others? 2.Did I sabotage myself and/or others? 3.Did I addict myself and/or others? 4. Did I confuse myself and/or others?5. Did I play the clown to avoid important issues?6. Did I play the Helpless Victim, reluctant Martyr or resentful helper? 7. Did I depress myself for doing any of the above?

Step 5 is where you left the blank space. Return to each item to be forgiven and chose a wise preference with this formula. Do not use vague or negative words. When finished writing, say them loudly.

" As I look back, I realize I would have preferred to have.......(believe) or (thought) or (said) or (acted) Choose the one that applies. Here is an example.
 .....I would have preferred to believe that I was a worthwhile person. ( instead of being so self-critical of my background.)
 Please do this exercise sitting down - I will tell you why in the next post, where we will talk about the sixth step which concludes the Early Phase of Forgiveness! If you're still with me, please let me know! I would like to know how many are following these posts, otherwise the middle and very important part of the forgiveness process will be postponed indefinitely. So a line or two is crucial to the survival of this blog.
P Nicholas