Saturday, May 15, 2010

Myths about Forgiveness - Part 1

I bet that many of you are wondering how I can associate the word Myth with the serious word Forgiveness!Well read on to find out.

About a week ago, I had as a discussion topic on my social network forum about what forgiveness meant? The answers were only from a few members whose answers were associated with their belief system.
I am thankful for those who responded and will quote their signature avatars in the final paragraph.

First, let's look at the myths about forgiveness.
1.condoning harm,
3. being weak or being a victim, martyr or a doormat,
4.losing your rightness or proving the wrongness of the other
5. making the other person change
6. something you do "at" another person
7.too difficult or too easy
8. compulsory. 
from Dr. Guy Pettitt MD, Auckland.

I will also add that it does not come automatically which is why Dr. Pettitt calls it a Process.
My next post will show the input of the members who wrote their views of forgiveness and what the forgiveness process is - one easy clue - one of it can be found up on my blog.
Till the next time.
P Nicholas


Anonymous said...

I recall watching a report about a mother who began the painful process of forgiving the man who murdered her son and I couldn't help but ponder the effect of forgiving.

What does it mean to truly forgive? How does one accept the wrong inflicted by another and embark on the process of understanding the reasons for the grievous behaviour?

Forgiveness is a force which is indeed powerful and it is intriguing to explore this subject in further debates.


Agapelife said...

Hi Gerry,
"What does it mean to truly forgive?'
This is what my post on the fact of forgiveness is about. As you can see in the post following this, about the myths that many have about forgiveness. If it is not done properly, it becomes a painful process. So tune in!!!

Ladygoodwood said...

It is important to look at the opposite of forgiveness - and that is resentment.
Resentments always hurt the person holding it the most. You can lay awake at night feeling resentful against some person - and they are fast asleep in their bed.
So, if we don't forgive, we harbour resentments and they eat away at our spiritual well-being and our soul.
Forgiveness is love - love of ourselves and of others.
It is only through truly willing to forgive that we can have release from suffering. Pain is still inevitable, that's life, but suffering is optional.
So how do we forgive - by sincerely praying for Gods will for that person, whatever that may be.
This is the foundation stone of all 12-step recovery.

Agapelife said...

Thanks Ladygoodwood for your insightful comments. You're right about resentments, but how do you stop it. In my post about the Steps of the Forgiveness Process which is scheduled in a fortnight, we will shed some light upon how to do it? The forgiveness process, takes away some of the pain and yes there is love but what kind of love is the question??