Saturday, June 28, 2008

Did you not know?

A 3 year old, French speaking girl visits her mother in the maternity ward. She observes her mother speaking to the expectant mother in the next bed in English.

The little girl looks very thoughtful and quiet,looking intently at the other lady's belly and her mother asked her in french "What's wrong?"

She questions her mother, very seriously, "Mamma, our baby will be born speaking French, right?... that lady's baby will be born speaking English, right?

Her mother asks, 'Sure, why do you ask that?" The little girl looked relieved, "Well, mamma, if our baby speaks English, I won't be able to talk to her."

Friday, June 27, 2008

Effects of Low Self-Esteem on Health

One of the greatest disease is to be a nobody to anybody” Mother Teresa of Calcutta

All my years, in the education and health occupations and in my various volunteer assignments, I have found the effects of low self- esteem present in many victims of physical disabilities or disease and sometimes, it could be the residue of the disease or disability.
Low self-esteem as it spirals downward can lead to depression , paranoia, anorexia, bulimia.

Socially, low self-esteem alienates people, causes friction, jealousies, conflicts, and in extreme cases to violence. The common cry of persons with low self-esteem is “I’m not good enough .... ”. "I don't deserve this.."

There are several ways that lack of self-esteem is exhibited and here are three of them.- 1.Some people disguise their lack of self-esteem by outwardly showing confidence but inwardly terrified of failure, so this group will tend to be perfect or be workaholic in their daily lives and always looking for a pat on the back.

2. Some people act as if they are not bothered by others' opinions or judgements, yet
inwardly, they are angry and hurt which translates into sarcastic jokes, blaming and overly critical attitudes.

3. These group show themselves as helpless, unable to cope, indulge in self-pity and relying totally on someone else for physical, emotional and psychological support.

If we can nurture good self-esteem in children, then we have already won part of the battle. There is an audiobook on "Self-Esteem Building for kids" Adults can change their low self-esteem and there are programs to do that. They are offered through churches, education and health departments and online. There audiobooks like the one below.

Someone who has a healthy self-esteem is not overly troubled by ratings, rejections or criticism of self or his or her work.
Next week, we will briefly explore how to recover or build-up your self-esteem.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

What Causes Poor Self-Esteem

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

The causes of low self-esteem are as many as there are individuals. It begins in the mother’s womb. Gestational studies have shown that human foetuses react to music, sounds and vibrations while in the womb. Negative vibrations of the mother is felt and owned by these growing babies.

If the birth is difficult or if the labour is prolonged, if the baby is abandoned after birth, it affects that individual’s self-esteem. To illustrate, a recent article from a professional counselor, who had achieved success in relationships and career always felt his self-esteem was low as he did not feel he belonged.

He felt that the reason for that was he was an adopted child (he was not told he was adopted) when he finally had the courage to ask his mother, she stated he was adopted as a baby. He realized then that his issues with self-esteem stemmed from that.

How parents treat a child in the early years with words, attitudes and gestures play an important part in the self-esteem arena.
The school age child’s self-esteem formation continues with the teachers and other students. Is he/she bullied? Were there positive or negative reinforcements? Does the child go to church or Sunday school? Was that a positive experience?

If the general atmosphere of home and school is positive, with constructive criticism as well as praise for the child’s achievements, the child will develop a good level of self-esteem.

Bullying, excessive teasing, harsh criticism of the child’s failures or character flaws will create self-esteem issues. Does the child accomplishes each stage of psychologist Erik Erikson’s Developmental Stages successfully? These stages cover the whole spectrum of one’s life.

Other factors that contribute to low self-esteem are abuse, addictions, perceived or actual rejection by peers, job loss, separation, divorce, business as well as relationship failures and chronic illnesses. Society in general play a role in forming one’s self-esteem. Sometimes, "humor" is used to ridicule another person and shred their self-esteem! Some personalities are more prone to have their self-esteem eroded as they are extremely sensitive.

Tomorrow we will look at the effects of poor self-esteem.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

How Important is Self-Esteem?

Importance of Self-Esteem

Anyone who thinks Self-Esteem is not important should Google it. There are many sites on all aspects of self-esteem from questionnaires to programs on Self-Esteem. Even the US Department of Mental Health has pages on it. It is under the domain of mental health. It is vital for mental health to have a good dose of self-esteem.

Self- Esteem in the dictionaries give the following definitions - “belief in oneself“,” undue pride in oneself” (Webster) ;“good opinion of oneself” (Oxford)

Maslow, a humanistic psychologist in his book, Motivation and Personality wrote about the hierarchy of human needs and the pyramid structure of the needs with the physiological needs from the base, followed by security needs, then social needs, then Self-Esteem needs and at the pinnacle needs of self-actualization. So Esteem needs are near the top of the needs of every human person.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, is studied not only in psychology but also in education and nursing and other health disciplines. So is anyone born with low or high self-esteem? How is self-esteem formed?
It is formed through experiences - both positive and negative experiences; also formed by interactions with others.

When is self-esteem formed? It starts when we are born and it continues to adulthood. Some studies will state that it starts in the womb, as a baby in the mother’s womb resonates with the mother’s vibrations - loving vibrations, positive or negative ones as well.

Is it a learned behaviour? Is it evolving? Can a low self-esteem be changed? The answer to all these questions is Yes, Yes and again Yes. How can I be so certain? Well, I was among those with a low self-esteem and with some conscious effort, prayer and work, my self-esteem has risen to a positive one.

The dilemma of Self-Esteem is that we could have too much of it or too little and being at either end of the spectrum is unbalanced. The causes and effects of low self-esteem as well as recovering from them will be discussed in my next postings.

Why is Self- Esteem important? It is part of a healthy, wholesome person. Persons with a healthy dose of self-esteem have the ability to be joyful, hopeful, creative, set goals, achieve some of them and contribute to humanity in some way, unique to them.

Tomorrow we will visit the causes of poor self-esteem!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

All you want to know about Self-esteem!

After viewing some blog forums as well as my observations of people in my surroundings and in my practice, I have realized that poor Self-Esteem has been the cause of much needless suffering to people with unhealthy self-esteem.

A person can be outwardly, attractive or talented or intelligent, wealthy or in a great profession, yet surprise! surprise, the person can be inwardly troubled by self-esteem issues. Why?

In the next days, we will explore the causes of poor self-esteem! How does poor self-esteem affect the victim and those close to them? How to develop a healthy self-esteem?

If you have any comments or wish to share experiences or feel you have a poor self-esteem, I would like to hear from you!

Monday, June 23, 2008


So for the past week, Qigong, Chow qigong in particular has been the topic. This is a synopsis of what was posted for the past 7 days.

Qigong, a traditional Chinese healing method practised since 300BC, has found a home in the West, introduced by Dr. E. Chow, a public health nurse, PhD and a qigong master.
She has blended some western medicine with eastern medicine. She founded the East-West Academy of Healing Arts in San Francisco. She has a research-based practice of qigong.

Qigong research done within the last 20 years have shown amazing healing of diseases such as cancer, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, arthritis, Parkinson's and mental illnesses. Qigong techniques and exercises builds up the immune system, so colds and infections are reduced. It has also decreased stress!

Chow qigong promotes concepts that is congruent to qigong - meditation,positive attitude, giving and receiving love, humor, peace with oneself and others.

Qigong is now used also to prevent against diseases. It has shown remarkable results in chronic illnesses where western medicine has yet to produce effective results.

Qigong literally means "vital breath" or "vital energy". The base of any qigong system (and there are a number of systems,) is the proper breathing technique and correct posture. Then come the exercises, first the preliminary, the warm-ups and the treasure 8 exercises that should be done at least daily. Dr Chow stated that if qi without love is empty.

I have been practising Chow qigong techniques with two other techniques and I have seen remarkable healing with my energy improved and pain non-existent. So, I am now on a mission to show those who are in any chronic illnesses and pain-ridden, there is a way out. If someone who had frozen shoulder, painful, immobile knees,sinusitis and cancer is now Mobile, active and pain-free through qigong and GET, then you could be too.
If you have any comments or questions, please send them to me.
Be healthy,joyful and peaceful